#humor Archives - Increase Academy

Getting The Goods

Increase Academy

I’m not a psychopath, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

By Steven Moffat

Author

All Quotes, Steven Moffat

Tag:

#humor, #sherlock-holmes

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

By Mark Twain

Author

All Quotes, Mark Twain

Tag:

#funeral, #funny, #humor

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

By Narcotics Anonymous

Author

All Quotes, Narcotics Anonymous

Tag:

#humor, #insanity, #life, #misattributed-ben-franklin, #misattributed-mark-twain, #misattributed-to-einstein

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!” He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up.

By Rick Riordan

Author

All Quotes, Rick Riordan

Tag:

#frank-zhang, #heroes-of-olympus, #humor, #mars, #percy-jackson, #transformation

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

By Marilyn Vos Savant

Author

All Quotes, Marilyn Vos Savant

Tag:

#humor, #intelligence

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

By Albert Einstein

Author

Albert Einstein, All Quotes

Tag:

#creativity, #epiphany, #humor, #inspiration

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!

By Friedrich Nietzsche

Author

All Quotes, Friedrich Nietzsche

Tag:

#humor, #philosophy

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

By Laurence J. Peter

Author

All Quotes, Laurence J. Peter

Tag:

#human, #humor, #misattributed-einstein, #philosophy, #stupidity

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

By Dr. Seuss

Author

All Quotes, Dr. Seuss

Tag:

#humor, #philosophy

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

By E.B. White

Author

All Quotes, E.B. White

Tag:

#activism, #humor, #life, #pleasure

have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.

By Lewis Carroll

Author

All Quotes, Lewis Carroll

Tag:

It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

By Lewis Carroll

Author

All Quotes, Lewis Carroll

Tag:

#alice, #humor, #inspirational, #philosophy-of-life, #psychological, #yesterday

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

By Albert Einstein

Author

Albert Einstein, All Quotes

Tag:

#human-nature, #humor, #infinity, #philosophy, #science, #stupidity, #universe

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

By Mo Willems

Author

All Quotes, Mo Willems

Tag:

#fairy-tales, #humor, #humorous, #philosophy, #psychology

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.

By Mark Twain

Author

All Quotes, Mark Twain

Tag:

#humor, #men, #women

Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?

By Terry Johnson

Author

All Quotes, Terry Johnson

Tag:

#humor, #misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, #philosophy

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

By Mark Twain

Author

All Quotes, Mark Twain

Tag:

#humor, #writing

Scroll or Drag