#humor Archives - Increase Academy

I’m not a psychopath, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

By Steven Moffat

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All Quotes, Steven Moffat

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#humor, #sherlock-holmes

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

By Mark Twain

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All Quotes, Mark Twain

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#funeral, #funny, #humor

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

By Narcotics Anonymous

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All Quotes, Narcotics Anonymous

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#humor, #insanity, #life, #misattributed-ben-franklin, #misattributed-mark-twain, #misattributed-to-einstein

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!” He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up.

By Rick Riordan

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All Quotes, Rick Riordan

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#frank-zhang, #heroes-of-olympus, #humor, #mars, #percy-jackson, #transformation

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

By Marilyn Vos Savant

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All Quotes, Marilyn Vos Savant

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#humor, #intelligence

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

By Albert Einstein

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Albert Einstein, All Quotes

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#creativity, #epiphany, #humor, #inspiration

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!

By Friedrich Nietzsche

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All Quotes, Friedrich Nietzsche

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#humor, #philosophy

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

By Laurence J. Peter

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All Quotes, Laurence J. Peter

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#human, #humor, #misattributed-einstein, #philosophy, #stupidity

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

By Dr. Seuss

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All Quotes, Dr. Seuss

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#humor, #philosophy

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

By E.B. White

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All Quotes, E.B. White

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#activism, #humor, #life, #pleasure

have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.

By Lewis Carroll

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All Quotes, Lewis Carroll

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#humor

It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

By Lewis Carroll

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All Quotes, Lewis Carroll

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#alice, #humor, #inspirational, #philosophy-of-life, #psychological, #yesterday

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

By Albert Einstein

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Albert Einstein, All Quotes

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#human-nature, #humor, #infinity, #philosophy, #science, #stupidity, #universe

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

By Mo Willems

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All Quotes, Mo Willems

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#fairy-tales, #humor, #humorous, #philosophy, #psychology

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.

By Mark Twain

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All Quotes, Mark Twain

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#humor, #men, #women

Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?

By Terry Johnson

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All Quotes, Terry Johnson

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#humor, #misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, #philosophy

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

By Mark Twain

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All Quotes, Mark Twain

Tag:

#humor, #writing